If you’re reading this, at one point in your life you’ve either stepped on an ant, swatted a mosquito or blasted your mates frail dwarf hamster into oblivion with sub-zero bass (No, not that last one? Maybe just me). If so, you will be wholeheartedly relieved to know that you have a once in a lifetime opportunity to rectify your wrongdoings.
On Thursday 23rd April at 7pm in Union Films, the RSPCA Society are screening one of the finest motion pictures ever to greet your precious little eyeballs. Whether you’re an animal lover or couldn’t care less about them, it is your civic duty to come and watch the unprecedented masterpiece that is Finding Nemo.
You may have already seen this work of art, in which case you’ll now be dribbling, whilst reciting: ‘P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney.’ But if you’ve been living under a rock for literally your whole life, it is understandable that you might need some convincing.
Take your favourite film – add the childhood nostalgia of the Lion King, the emotional rollercoaster of Titanic and the short term memory loss from 50 First Dates. If you’ve ever played extreme hide and seek on speed in the middle of an ocean you’re almost halfway to understanding how good this movie really is. This is a must-fucking-watch extravaganza.
And of course, it’s not just the marvellous film that ought to tempt you into attending this unmissable spectacle. What is equally (but not more) important is showing your appreciation and respect for the many species that inspired this glorious tale. You will be able to brag to your friends, blab on your social media and declare on your CV that you are an active, benevolent supporter of the RSPCA Society. Because let’s face it, at the moment you probably don’t have much else going for you, you uncharitable wanker.
I urge you to take advantage of this incredible occasion, but there will unfortunately be a heartless, soulless handful of you that won’t. For those selfish enough to spend this Thursday evening alone at home, all I ask is that you remember: fish are friends. NOT food.
For more information, check out the Facebook event .