Always thinking of you, the Soton Tab are here on the night we’ve all been waiting for. Whether you’re watching the game or not, follow this live blog for our unique commentary. COME ON ENGLAND!

01.10

On the plus side, a very attractive girl is voluntarily talking to me. So there’s that.

01.02

Tab out.

01.01

Thanks to everyone for choosing to follow our live blog, shame about the result.

00.59

England had 17 attempts compared to Italy’s 12 with 5 being on target.

00.58

England’s next match is against Uruguay on Thursday at 8pm and Italy play Costa Rica on Friday at 5pm.

00.57

England are now third in group D with a slightly better goal difference than Uruguay. Costa Rica top the table with a better GD than Italy.

00.54

FINAL SCORE: ENGLAND 1-2 ITALY

00.54

Fantastic tackle by Cahill.

00.53

Last 30 seconds of the match…..

00.52

Italy’s free kick hits the cross bar!

00.52

The vanishing spray matched England’s kit!

00.50

First yellow card of the match goes to Sterling.

00.49

5 mins added time.

00.48

England are woeful. Is anyone surprised?

00.44

Gerrard takes the free kick from just outside of the box after Lallana is taken down. Italy disobeying the vanishing spray again. Stevie G’s shot goes over.

00.42

We have a few England players suffering from cramp. The last 10 mins aren’t looking good for us.

00.40

Woo we have a Southampton player on the pitch, do us proud Adam Lallana!!!

00.39

Daniel Sturridge coming off for Adam “Not as young as he looks” Lallana

00.39

Substitutions:

Candreva off and Marco Parolo on for Italy.

Daniel Sturridgde off and Adam Lallana on for Engalnd.

00.35

They disobeyed the vanishing line!

00.34

Somewhere, Charles Branson is coating himself in butter.

00.33

Substitutions:

Mario Balotelli off and Ciro Immobile on for Italy.

Jordan Henderson off and Jack Wilshire on for England.

00.29

Only 20 minutes left, England need to up their game.

00.29

Until Glen Johnson realises he’d do better in porn, we don’t stand a chance.

00.27

The queue for the bar has become a lot larger since Italy scored.

 

00.24

At least I’ve got German heritage, so when we inevitably bomb out at the group stage I’ve got a team to support that might actually do well.

00.23

Nice close up of Roy Hodgson’s double chin there.

00.22

BREAKING: Sterling has CRAMP

00.22

Barkley getting straight in on the action.

00.22

Chance for Rooney but it goes wide.

00.20

Substitution for England, Danny Welbeck off and Ross Barkley on.

00.19

Another shot for Sturridge, this one went wide.

00.19

An hour into the game England are losing 2-1.

00.16

Substitution for Italy, Thiago Motta on for Marco Verratti.

00.15

I think that could have been a penalty!

00.10

Gerrard got tripped up by the ref!

00.09

Damn.

00.09

Come on England, same again please.

00.09

Darn

00.07

Aaaaand we’re back for the second half.

00.06

Come on guys, lets not put such trivial content up. This is a place for SRS DISCUSSION

00.04

Shout out to one of our ex-Sport editors, Jonny Rye…..HAPPY BIRTHDAY JONNYYYYYYYY! 😀 😀 😀 xxx

23.59

It has been confirmed that England physio, Gary Lewin, has dislocated his ankle after celebrating Sturridge’s goal.

23.58

Not drunk but getting paid to watch the match so all is good. Thanks anonymous live blogger.

23.52

Dear previous live blog submitter; drunk. And yourself?

23.50

So it’s half time, how we feeling everybody?

23.47

At half time it’s 1-1.

23.47

Tense few mins.

23.46

2 minutes added time at the end of the first half.

23.43

And Sturridge’s, which from my objective opinion was MUCH BETTER.

http://gfycat.com/EmotionalEdibleCatfish

 

(love the gfycat automatic naming system)

23.42

The England physio, Gary Lewin,  has been stretchered off with a suspected broken ankle after getting injured celebrating.

23.42

Italy’s goal, in case you live under a rock. http://zippy.gfycat.com/HeavenlyNervousBison.gif

23.40

Did Italy’s physio just get stretchered off in the midst of that?

23.39

Italy were in the lead for just over 90 seconds!

23.38

The physio is injured! Ironic?

23.38

Fantastic cross from Rooney!

23.37

Loved that celebration dance from Sturridge!

23.37

DANIEL STURRIDGE EQUALISES WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MAN I DONT EVEN BEGRUDGE HIM HIS RIDICULOUS DANCE

23.36

Girl just took her England shirt off in disgust.

 

Carry on, Italy. You’re doing god’s work.

23.35

Marchisio scores a belter from outside the area. Cock.

23.34

Goal for Italy. So it begins

23.34

Darn

23.32

Italian players rocking the classic hand gesture whenever the ref gets involved

image

23.32

What I love most about the high definition camera is seeing Roy Hodgson in all his wrinkly, ‘spent the past forty years in the jacuzzi’ glory.

23.30

That green spray paint did a good job on the pitch!

23.25

Sirigu looks clumsy in the air. This is when we need Andy Carroll to exploit that.

23.23

Sterling could f**k my wife if he carries on like this.

23.21

Clumsy save by Joe Hart. We don’t want a repeat of that incident in 2010.

23.17

Drunk northerner in the smoking area expounding on why Berlusconi has fixed the World Cup, and the England team are the only thing standing in his way. I wish I was kidding.  Early pressure all England, but Italy look dangerous on the counter.

23.16

Several chances from England. Showing more flair than Italy in these first 10 minutes.

23.06

England putting pressure on from the start. Quality shot by Sterling into the side netting, followed by Henderson testing Sirigu in the Italy goal. Sirigu starts ovee the legendary Buffon, who picked up an injury in training.

Liverpool providing most of the quality to begin.

23.05

Strong start from England already.

23.04

No excuses, no regrets

Stevie G

23.04

OH RAHEEM

23.01

AND WE ARE OFF.

The women next to me just went through the entire Italy team deciding whether they’d sleep with them or not. I feel objectified.

22.56

Expectations are low so there’s no need to get nervous

Thanks Gary

22.55

1770 miles from Rio

900 miles from the Atlantic Ocean

200 miles south of the equator

22.51

World Cup drinking games anyone?

22.41

Glad to see Sterling getting a start, he’s a proper talent. Sometimes I’m not even sure he’s certain of his next move. Welbeck I’m not so convinced by, and not a Southampton face in the line up.

Predictions? My heart says 2:1 England, but my head says the reverse.

22.35

(As in two pints in EACH glass. My body is ready)

22.33

Two pints for basically the price of one. I think it’s supposed to alleviate the boredom and depression of supporting England. Also, this is why the north is so despondent, they’re all functioning alcoholics. image

22.29

Here’s the starting 11, what do we think?

Hart, Johnson, Cahill, Jagielka, Baines, Henderson, Gerrard, Welbeck,

Sterling, Rooney, Sturridge

22.26

It’s 27 degrees with 52% humidity in the Amazon city of Manaus, prepare for some sweat!

22.23

First person to whinge about the incessant football coverage can unwind their mammaries. Nothing brings the nation together like this.

Well, Thatcher’s death. And when we finally charge Blair with war crimes. But top three isn’t bad!

22.05

For those that aren’t following, Uruguay just got trounced by Costa Rica, the supposed ‘weak team’ in England’s Group (of) ‘D’eath.

That’s buggered my accumulator, if nothing else. Where are you all enjoying the match from?

21.54

Aloha, Soton Tab readers! It’s that day we’ve all been waiting for, when political differences and club affiliations are placed to one side, and we all come together to watch England get utterly trounced. I’m liveblogging on my phone from a pub in Manchester, so don’t expect a particularly high quality of post.

That said, I’ll report back on what these filthy northern sorts verbally ejaculate, and on their scintillating commentaries disguised as erudition.

Anyone following the Uruguay game? They don’t look half as scary as expected…

Leave your response!